You know, life is very exciting when you do nothing. When there is nothing, I find, that I suddenly notice so much more about the so-called ‘nothing’ than before. A ceiling has so many little dots, blimp and swirls. The way a chair always leans a little to one side, like its tired of being squished. The whoosh of an air vent, and the way dust clings to it in twisting strands. The sound of a room breathing; the cracks and creaks of it, like the sterile stomach of a living beast. A tense smell. The tang of MicroScan. Dust in the corners of a room, hiding from the broad sweeps of a plastic broom. Such things are nothing when you have something to do, but I find are actually quite fascinating when you are just waiting.
The stupid MePore (sp?) – a kind of clear dressing – doesn’t stick to my skin. In fact, I believe that it repels my skin with astonishing force. Why, only a day after it was put on, it was peeling up away from my skin, inching itself to the outer edges of the bandage and freedom. Of course this is all well and good for it, but rather unfortunate for the 1/2 needle in my port. It loves the sickening sharpness of CholoraPrep and nitrile gloves. Even taping all of the sides down more securely didn’t keep the dressing on, so a few days later we were back in ER, getting it changed again! How annoying!!! Anyway, tonight it wasn’t too bad, and we were out of there in like, 2 hours, which isn’t bad. Hell, you can wait that long in a doctors office, reading bad, out-of-date magazines no one cares about.
I am really really zonked today. Everything is infinitely worse when you are tired. I fainted and fell out of my chair on the way to the bathroom, and fell in a way that my chest hit the ground, my bodyweight pushing the needle and port deeper into me. A little uncomfortable, to say the least. Haahaa. It’s kinda throbbing, deep down inside, in a way I don’t like. It isn’t helped by the cold IV ball I am currently infusing with.
Oh well. At least in a few days it will be out for a little longer. A respite! At last, a shower!
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
~ Albert Einstein